Human Error ..

Posted: August 8, 2010 in Life so far!

I’m in a constant tussle with my mind. And the voices tell me (like they know it all) to wait for the moment when I’d wakeup of an alarm just to realize, all my life that I remember of, was only a part of a life-like dream and then I’d be stranded like a nomad, all woken up but still lost, who knows way too much to live at peace. I had already made my first enemy.
I wouldn’t deny their notions completely though, I did have an inkling about the seriousness of these voices once in a while – I mean, think of it .. Dressed in a nicely Ironed shirt and pair of faded denims, last week I board a flight to Goa. The thrill was over the limit. I took my seat, the not – so – popular middle one. I think that woman at the check in counter was giving the better seats only to the cute guys standing in queue. I could have ruined her fancies if that was true, but then in 2 hrs, I was about to breathe the air she probably didn’t get the leaves for.
While I scanned through the magazines, I see this guy right across my row, sitting on the aisle seat. He was wearing an off white shirt, with an expensive pen in his pocket; he looked like some Strategy Manager of some big detergent company. Neatly done but looked low on confidence. He is observing this airhostess so thoroughly while she enacts the whole emergency escape training (I mean come on, who does that!!).
Either he finds her too hot to get his eyes off her. Or he is genuinely trying to conceive what she means. You (Me talking to my voices) could be right, cuz then I’d be jealous of this guy, he knows more than I do and hence his chances of surviving an air-crash, are brighter than mine.
I am always thinking of Aircrashes when I’m boarding a flight. I peek out of the window and look for another plane floating right towards mine. The view is awesome, voices tell me :) !! and then I start building up my own escape routes. I’d be jealous of this guy sitting on the seat next to emergency exit – I always wanted to walk up to him and ask – did you pay extra for this one? I’m not too sure about that, but again, his chances of surviving the crash, like the other guy, were much higher.

That’s not it, there’s more when my voices reiterate my wocky belief – I work in an industry where your best friends are a sham. Brands, Advertising, Sales – It’s an endless self-defeating goose race. If you are not good, you suck. The catch is –there’s no definition of good. Or the way my boss says it, you are as good as your last deal.
You are stuck in a shithole system and the only way to get out is by swallowing chunks of crap.
To make it worse, the voices creep you out. They keep reminding you how pathetic you are, how your existence is only a reminder to your parents that to err is human.
That you are nothing but god’s unwanted children.

We don’t fight against anyone; we just love fighting to ourselves. We pity ourselves. We want things we don’t need. We talk of things we are told to. We are very pissed off.

We are not as good as they say we are. It’s a trap. They make you believe them so that they can shut you down one day. They call it getting ‘professionally high.’
Reminds me of a movie quote, “When you take away a man’s freedom and teach him to live in a cell, he seems to lose his ability to think in dimensions – he gets institutionalized”.

Sometimes I wonder if I was really born to fly or just living about the fact that it’s not the wings that will make one fly; it’s the will to fly that will.
In either case, I’m not flying, I’m just held captive by my own identity and my voices are having the last laugh. Those Rascals. (Also read: Scoundrels)
I knew I couldn’t prove them wrong until I was wrong myself. I still remember their introduction in my head was something like this – Hi; I’m a phantom of your own imagination. I say what you think and you say what I think, deal? And I promptly agreed. I thought it was a fair deal – And then their intoxicating party began, I soon realized I was like this club who officially hired these effing DJs under a life long contract with only one statutory warning (which I so stupidly missed) – “Come what may, you can not quit it”… And then they played their music.

Their volumes reached an “are you crazy” level in the freaking head.

I think my speculation as to why THEY existed was quite right. You know when they say, lets make the dogs fight for the fuck of it, I was soon coming to believe that’s all there was to it.
It was a 70 mm wide screen to them – and they demanded 3D drama now.
But sooner or later, I had to give it to them. It’s like they had a plan and it started to make sense in its own bizarre sort of way. In the process of denial, I was hit by what acceptance is. I thought of dying in air crashes only cuz I loved life so much. It wasn’t the loud noise in the head; it was my desire of WANTING the lack of it. I wouldn’t learn to swim, if drowning was never a question. The point is – most of us are missing the point.

Chuck quotes, “Until you find something to fight for, you settle for something to fight against”, I just couldn’t agree more. :)


a day called life..

Posted: July 7, 2010 in Life so far!

I don’t clearly remember the time, but I could safely assume it was some 11.30 in the night. My memory seemed to have gone weak; Doctors had told I was still better off than many cases he had seen of late. Was that supposed to relieve me? Doc tells me it’s due to the anxiety and lack of concentration or it could be due to over medication.. Hell yes, you are the one who wrote me prescriptions endlessly and now you tell me I’m losing it because of excess of it. Paradoxical.
He undersigns my yet another prescription, Rx Almond milkshake.
It was a doctor’s way of telling It looks doubtful but I still hope you get fine.
I still find it difficult to understand why he wouldn’t just tell me the truth. It’s not like it wasn’t evident enough.
I don’t care if people didn’t remember their names or their anniversary dates anymore in this neurological disorder. Of what I remember, my life was such; not remembering it would be just like forgetting the smell of the first rain of delhi monsoons or how the color purple really made me feel.
I try putting myself off to sleep, its freezing cold outside. I have a blanket on me but it doesn’t help. It’s like my body was losing all the temperature from within. I was shivering.
I’m waiting for him to get off his sudoku he had been trying to solve since morning. I still wonder why he hasn’t gotten bored of it already.
It’s amusing to see and believe, he still was a charmer. With a vision of an archer , brain of a hawking, his face still had that radiant touch to it, exactly the same as he had when I saw him on the first day.
I stare out of the window and the shining stars stare me back, like they are smiling and telling me, “Yes, we have been seeing it all…”
As abrupt as it sounds, I seem to have a modest memory of long ago but it was hard to remember what I was wearing only yesterday.
I hear a knock on the door; the 5 yr old girl had learnt all the manners :) I was facing the other side, and for some reason, she knew I wasn’t going to turn around and look for her, But it seemed she sensed my approval to get in.
She walks across the bed to come to my side of it. I wonder why on earth I could never register this pretty face on my mind. As I lied on bed, I could see her pink night dress and those rabbit faced furry flip flops. Why is it that whenever she came and stood right in front of me was the only time I realized how beautiful she was. I wanted to get out of my bed and hug her. But again, as I tried thinking hard, I think, it was time she tucked me in and kissed me goodnight. In that moment, I knew it was the best thing ever and I also knew I wouldn’t remember it in the morning. I wanted to live this moment for couple of more minutes, but the sleeping pills were giving me a tough fight.
As she left the room, I felt alone in an unreasonable way, I looked at the photo frame by the bed side. The picture in it, I figured, was keeping me alive (I promise I’ll upload that pic soon :P ).

A while later, I hear him enter the room… I knew he was going to ask me if I had had my medicine or if I needed anything else, surprisingly I would still wait for him to be around before I could finally sleep. My day had come to an end now.
Only if I could, I would remember all of it and cherish it forever. Afterall, the way I had dreamt of it ,that exactly was the idea of my life. But it was in the same moment that I had also come to realize.,the harder I try to keep mustering my memories, the sooner they’d fade away.
It was probably the last lesson of my successful life (or the day, in this case)– I live it now, this very moment, as I may not remember it in the morning, but in no way, that should leave me any less content or less-sufficed.
I see him standing there, a little tired, taking a support of the chair by the bed; he looked handsome in that grey hair.
I felt blessed, gave him my unusual smile like I wanted to thank him for everything. He could read my eyes; one man who understood it all when I never said a word.
I close my eyes in peace in the hope to wake up just to see him again first thing in the morning.
Not only 2 minutes had passed, when I was abruptly woken up, I saw him watching me like he wanted to say something. I looked at him but I couldn’t make out.
I asked him, “What is it?”, and he gives me that smile, just gets out of the bed, put the lights on, looks closely at the watch with his fancy glasses and sings out loud
Happy 75th Birthday Sweety“.
May be too old to feel it, but I was flabbergasted out of excitement. He told me he’d never make me cry and here I was slipping on the tears,all the more because he wasn’t the one who’d remember the dates.
It wasn’t the 75 long years; it was the life with him in those years that made it worth.
And who knew my last lesson for the day wasn’t just about living in the moment, but it lied in the very fact that Love withers with predictability; its very essence is surprise and amazement.!!

Just before i died..

Posted: June 15, 2010 in Life so far!

***Spoiler – No , its not just a blog and need NOT be taken in any lighter note ! If i had to put it in the great Chuck Palahniuk’s words : I just had a near – life experience !

It was a pretty refreshing morning. Not the ones i have everyday. This one was definitely incomparable. It was a Saturday and not just any !! There was something abt this one and why not?? I died this Saturday!
My morning was quite lazy. Woke up at leisure and thanked god for blessing me with this day. Had scrambled eggs and mango shake for breakfast. Woah !! I couldn”t stop yawning. still! …
Thought of reading a book – picked up Catch 22 – Joseph Heller. Some 50 odd pages and i was disinterested already!! It was a saturday.. there had to be more to it …! and that’s when a friend online told me abt The Twilight Zone – american television series aired in late 50s and early 60’s. Half n hr episodes , very thought provoking – horror, suspense, romance – it had it all.
The series had just enough episodes to keep me busy for the entire day. ((P.S::Call me mean, but this is the day which I claim to be absolutely mine)) So well, coming back — I You-tubed the series and got all of them online… Alas!!… It was turning out to be a perfect weekend.
Time passed by , it was afternoon already, i was hungry again. But where are others? Quite surprising when you live in a house of 19 people and no one knocked your door in past 4 hrs, absolutely a shocker. No kids drama for quite a while, mom’s not yelling at me for not taking bath yet… others are just about as calm as the silence before the storm.. or was it the one after the storm? What was i missing ?(P.S – Not that i was loving the silence ;) it was the curiosity that made me anxious) . I recalled my previous night to find a connect and i had a decent memory of it.The previous day when I had come back from work, had family dinner, checked mails,heard music , browsed internet and was off to bed.
But then what could have possibly happened overnight during my slumber that i wasn’t aware of.
My next quick action – to find out where everyone is. My happening Saturday was turning out to be “not so happening“… It had started to worry me already. I walked out of room .. and the house looked empty ! Things were in place.. but people weren’t! ? !
The half cut water melon, fresh milk on the stove, lit for least that gave some relief . Obviously, there must have been someone in the kitchen only a while back .
I shouted but in vain! Checked all the rooms, lobby , washrooms ..((P.S= This many movements on a Saturday is otherwise taken as a self proclaimed criminal offence )) I don’t get it . Where had all disappeared ??
I picked up my cell and dialed my mum’s no. It rang and i could hear the ring !!! Thank god .. it was ringing and somewhere real close. BUT, It was quite weird, because even though i could hear the ring so loud , i couldn’t figure where it’s actually coming from ? Has that ever happened to you ? ((P.S = This is the time when the narrator talks to the audience, yes YOU !! :P )) Any place you look, the moment you go any closer – the sound seems to be coming from somewhere else. As crazy as it sounds, I swear I could not locate the phone at all …!!
This looked very theatrical, obviously it doesn’t happen in real but it did happen to me – For real and left me all the more confused…
I thought of checking with my neighbors if the crowd of my house had moved there for some reason. !! So i quickly go back to my room, & changed… my chain of thoughts were quite random -I was thinking what color do i wear ? i mean.. seriously ?
I stepped out in a pair of faded denims with a yellow t shirt that had my company logo on it. It was sultry outside.. very humid and the sun goggled at me like i was the solely responsible person for the chlorofluorocarbon spread out in the air :P !! The roads looked void, like no one ever lived there. The streets were empty , not even a stray dog next to the dump,.. One of the days when i was ready to see any moving object just to believe in the life of it . Even the birds went missing that day. This was funny. I rang my neighbor’s doorbell but just as i expected, no response. The world went lifeless. and me .. Isolated ? And i thought to myself – Was i dreaming ? ?God knows how hard i pinched myself that moment , and it hurt. It did hurt bad .. I was living it.. living ( or was i ? ) every moment of it
And it struck me hard, how i so much longed to be left alone , not to be bothered ever – and now when the reality had hit me, it wasn’t quite fascinating. There was no way i could deal with this isolation. My curiosity could have only killed me if nothing worse.
My beliefs had started to tremble, it wasn’t too great about the glorious eternal time anymore. If ,even in an iota of the possibility, this was a dream..i wanted it to end right away..!
I began to think the way out and find clues. Why did it all seem like a staged drama with no other characters to act. I started to run in search for life. Day had ended , sun had settled – i had everywhere to go but the will to live had died.I had banged my head against every wall, prayed to god like never before, missed my family like a 2 yr old.
My disappointed soul refused to wander anymore, between this life and death – i feared the former more.
I entered in a building that stood so lifelessly high, walked up all floors just to fall free from above. Certainly my conscious way of telling god, “you can’t fire me , i quit” .. so i lean forward and shut my eyes. Let loose and feel the fall. While my body swung its way down so fast, it’s the hit in the end what i waited for. And just as i remember of the last thought in my mind before i hit the ground, I hear someone say slowly in my ears ” Mam, Can i get you another drink?

“It is impossible to tell where revelations stop and hallucinations begin”

Me : Mom , Have you heard of Facebook?
Mum: “Kaunsi book??”

Me: Dad , have you heard of Facebook?
Dad: Is it your office project? I’m sure you’ll nail it :)

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it (or, in above case, knowing of it at all) doesn’t go away. Think of it this way, Shakira without her belly dance, ur passport pic with an ugly zit on your nose, your fav t-shirt on 60% sale just after you bought it, Sachin suffering from amnesia and forgot to bat, or you being born mute.
Fact remains, reality goes unnoticed until you see the lack of it.

I can bet the then-inglorious Harvard drop out, Mark Zuckerberg’s idea of launching FB wasn’t his first, only god knows how depressing and fatally boring his life must’ve been to even think of it. He probably was starting to learn how to make a bomb or to abduct children under 5 or how to make weed and smuggle all over the world bt eventually zeroed down on the belief that “getting other people’s lives messed up and their privacy deeply fucked in the name of Social networking “ would make him more money than anything else in the best possible legal way.

I’m sure his psyche slept in peace when psychologists introduced a diagnosis named FAD (Facebook Addiction Disorder) as a new kind of addiction disorder.
Also see : Facebook-o-somnia
Also see : Facebookly ill

As my friend rightly quotes: Back in the days, TV united our families, Damn Facebook – divided it all. While his mother still sits on that couch in front of tv and prays Anandi (Ref: Balika Vadhu) doesn’t die of that gunshot, this friend sits and prays that his fb friend list crosses 300 soon. (Seriously, what?)

Seriously look at yourself, you failed the most imp exam of ur life, Your gf dumped you, your boss fired you, your honeymoon was exotic, your divorce wasn’t! From as trivial as the drunken party you had last night to something as magnanimous as admiring Sachin play the innings of a lifetime, your one time facebook-ignorant soul now found a friend to vent itself out in the world of virtual reality.

Having said and done, this guide takes you to the next level of learning (or unlearning?) and for those self proclaimed Fb addicts who believe to have mastered it all, reality check is exactly what you need, cuz believe it or not, YOU make a great potential for a facebook rehabilitation group in the truest sense of the term, and you successfully qualify to be admitted if you fulfill at least one of the below criterias mentioned:

1. Your default homepage is FB
2. You check your FB account every 7 min or less of your life.
3. You have FB “bookmarked”.
4. You showed sincere grief when your office blocked FB
5. You have FB as your alternate window opened even while reading this post.
6. You believe the no.of “likes” on your FB status is equally proportional to the intensity of your perpetual happiness.
7. You are a fan of the page “addicted to facebook” on FB.
8. And most importantly, you think your farm is prettier than your neighbor’s! :)

And for those, who managed to pass the above test, hold that stinky smirk of yours right there, humble yourself and take a look at the following situations that are only intended to hit you hard and help you deal with it.

Guide to avoid unwanted friends requests:
Situation 1: You got a friend request from a school friend who never said even a hi or even looked at you in class, never bothered to stay in touch even later also, and suddenly sent u a request just because you got 20 common friends???

Step 1 and only step: Ignore the request and feel relieved. Do not let the guilt get into you, you are NOT rude, NOT arrogant and NEITHER ignorant by nature. You just saved yourself from adding one a$$hole who was never even worthy of it.

Guide to avoid friends in your list you always wanted to ignore:
You already made a mistake of adding someone who didn’t deserve to be there?

Step 1: Go to edit friends
Step 2: Search for this friend
Step 3: Delete him off.

Relax yourself; it will be quite a task for him to find that one person gone from his list of 347 friends. :)

Guide to avoid unwanted updates:
Have friends updating pathetic songs’ lyrics or their ugly poetic skills as their status msgs?

Step 1: Go to the news feed.
Step 2: Look for option “hide” to the right of the status, press it for once and for all, and they’ll no longer be on your news feed,whatsoever! :P

Guide to be taken seriously on FB:

This is for all you attention seekers; we all know how miserable your life is.
We know you are one of those who’d update – “I’m ill, I’m running down with fever, I’m in hospital, suffering from cold, swine flu or brain cancer.”
This is for you dumb pricks.
If you are active on FB, you are definitely NOT dying. Expecting any heartfelt sympathies can be the joke of the day.

Guide to avoid falling in trap: Partying out on a Wed or Sunday evening, drinking like a fish and calling in sick the next morning! For heavens sake – have some common sense and DO NOT upload pics from last night.
You don’t want your boss come to you & say: “I have seen pics of you crawling in gutter last night, I’m not amused or impressed, now get to work!”

Guide to avoid moaning in your facebook status: The most annoying thing one can do is update a status msg like Rahul Sharma – “is sorry for whatever he did to Anjali Mehta and really apologizes to her and he misses her like crazy and loves her a lot” . For the love of god, If you have got something to say to someone personally, say it, Don’t POST it. Neither am I interested to see your self-indulgent awfulness nor I care what you did to Anjali Mehta ;)

Guide to avoid adding single-serving holiday friends:
Some people just don’t understand that the exchanging of email addresses at the end of a holiday is just a social ritual and is absolutely not an invitation to add you to Facebook and then turn up unannounced at your house three months later.

Hope the guide helps you as much as it helped me.

P.S – The characters in the above post are purely intended to ridicule, pass a sarcasm or is direct satire towards some absolute psyched out characters in my real life.
I totally intend to hurt feelings, challenge the sensibilities and question the common sense of some of such epitomes who breathe and walk amongst us.

In the name of God…

Posted: March 6, 2010 in Life so far!

Man to God : God, why did you make woman so beautiful?

God to Man: “So you would love her.”

“But God”, Man says, “why did you make her so dumb?”

God replies: “So she would love you.” :)

It’s always nice to read conversations people have with their gods, goes to prove – somewhere deep down in everyone’s heart .. exist a GOD that one has blindfold faith in.

You may term it whatever you want – the higher power, the man upstairs or the divine imminence, the point still remains around the fact that you absolutely realize you would be nothing without him (read: her)

I was a non believer in god, until one day i realized who am i making a fool of. Nobody cares if my god really exist or not, it is me who does and thats all that matters to me.

The other day in office, a colleague  got me into thinking,left  a question for me to figure the answer for.

Ques If you really think God is and everyone believes as much as you do, where do you think the god was when innocent lives were lost in a recent German bakery blast in Pune ? Do you think the people who lost their loved ones believe in their god anymore ?

For me, the question does not end there, and it never will..

Come to think of it..  the best I could do to answer was to think of my god and ask him quick , ” God, I know you are there . Nothing in this world can make me re-think over it, but what about those and many more who lost the faith in you that day or many such days in the past ? ”

He did not answer me that moment , but i did get my reply soon. And i hope everyone finds their own.

My question to you now is, so you don’t believe in god and look, you will do anything your GODMEN( the so called swamis of the world ) will tell you.

I absolutely respect one’s opinion and belief in what so long as it makes you a better person in life.  But what about THOSE lot – who one day decided and voted their own Godman amongst us and claimed their search is over.

Swami Paramhansa Nityanand,video footage of whose indulging in sexual acts with women was telecast by Tamil TV channels last week . His  whereabout is not yet known.

Sant Swami Bhimanandji Maharaj  is a self-styled godman who preaches spirituality while running a prostitution racket in south Delhi.

To ideally speaking, they are not to be blamed. If it wasn’t for our blind faith in them – they wouldn’t be exactly the kind of  infamous celebrities  as they are today!

I demand a peace of mind, i demand to choose my own god, I demand absolute transparency  of every single self styled godman.

Just once wouldn’t you love for someone to simply show you the evidence for God’s existence? No arm-twisting. No statements of, “You just have to believe.”  But are you sure  “If god does exist, would you want to know him?

I know there are a  gazillion minds who at the moment are just willing to give me a good fight on this and are ready with their judgments about not believing in god.  Honestly speaking, I don’t care. To each, his own.

As someone rightly quotes : Every evening I turn my worries over to God.  He’s going to be up all night anyways.

As for you guys, if this gives you even a lil shiver in your heart, i would think my job here is done :)

This is pretty much a perfect epitome of how boredom and randomness can reflect fancy colors beyond our imagination.

So we all passed our college(somehow), and did our MBAs and attended our convocations and bragged about our degrees (no fck@#%v idea where is it lying right now)and were ready to begin our new lives.. but deep down in our hearts, we all knew – our lives were absolutely  OVER  , we were as good as dead – we had offer letters in our hands to enter this world full of demons and vampires who look just like us but can’t be fooled – time to throw  the denims back in our closets and buy a wardrobe of  formal outfits so that we all look alike (demons and humans).

So guys, i tried jotting down 5 golden laws to kill  time in office when you are not working ( And come on,lets face it, we all know most of you are hardly working in office, so don’t make that pathetic duck face pretending to show you are shitloaded with work  and are over-exploited & underpaid cuz u know YOU ARE NOT , you $!%@)

So here we go :

1. The “Nap-py”  Law :

Hands down,this is our classic , legendary and the most well- established law, tried and tested a gazillion times, has success stories we all swear by. So go ahead, don’t be ashamed – taking a quick nap at work is NORMAL . You will gradually learn the art well , the napping time is directly proportional to the experience you hold in the same.In easy terms –  the more you try, the longer you can go without getting caught:) – and you are an acclaimed expert once you know how to do it with open eyes. Trust me, only few have reached there!

2. The ” You-Face-Or-Link-Twit &Ted ”  Law :

Its a self explanatory law and very widely known and executed these days. We all swear by it, start and end our days as well as nights with the law . This rule keeps us connected , keeps us alive , gives us an individuality these bloody demons could never give. What ? You still don’t get it ?

This should simplify : The “youtube-facebook-orkut-linkedin-twitter-tedtv” Law .

We all know what this virtual world means to us, specially when u are sitting idle in office and want to look extremely busy doing something very important.Jai ho social networking baba ki, well, if you  grow out of Facebook, Ted TV would give you ideas worth spreading.

The beauty of the law is it can be customized to individual’s social networking desires and one platform where all your professional frustration comes out in form of Status updates, Blogs et al .

3.  The  “Disappear”  Law :

This one’s the coolest. Busy people don’t stick  their asses to their chairs all day . The are active, they are here one place – and there the another second.  And when you just want to kill time and still look busy , disappearing is the best act at work !:)

So well, your office is on 10th floor ? Go take an elevator tour , press all the buttons of the floors while you are in it and wait till it reaches the ground and then the way up . It’s fun when you have nothing else to do.LOL. And ya, you have a bank next to your building- Just go and check your account status , the chai wala sitting outside wouldn’t also mind if you pay him a visit once in a while . Go back to office ,  work on Rule 2 and then back to ground.  Before you even know it, your day’s over !

Oh wait, this  law comes with a condition – make sure not everyone in your office is following the same law at same time, Cuz then the office looks empty and the chai wala will be making more money than you probably would:)

4. The ” TO-DO-LIST” Law :

This law is not only fun, but productive as well.  Since you are in office 5 days a week , 11 Hrs a day , you totally miss out on other non professional yet important stuff which seem a LOT to finish over a 2 day weekend ( just the moment when you wished you had one day extra).

So well when at work, and nothing to do.Work on your TO-DO list . From preparing your grocery list  to online search for movie tickets .From making the list of hill stations to go on the coming weekend to calling up & finding about the prices and best packages to avail, From catching up on your credit card and telephone bills to making your best songs collection playlist -Guys, This is the TIME. It makes you look busy , kills the boredom and you couldn’t be any more multi-tasking than this !!!

5.   The “Talk it OUT ” law :

Ok so you tried all the above and there’s still time left for the day to get over. Walk up to a colleague and start talking the non work related matters – Family, friends, vacations, movies.. anything. And if you want to sound more intense  —  start with a serious topic like racism , homosexuality , Shiv Sena or the Indian economy. And if you aren’t much updated on any : initiate a gossip – about a colleague, your boss or about the new hired one – would usually last for hours.

As someone rightly quotes:

“The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, “How is the president?””

As for the rest – the above mentioned laws are just apt:)


No, this is not my love story,.. for that matter, this is nobody’s love story.. In fact, there’s no love in this story at all .

I just picked up this day ( Valentines or Vday ) cuz it has a direct connect to our love or anti-love cells in our brains that become active the most today in the entire year. Its safe to assume, today, anyone reading this, would just be able to comprehend it a lil more than on any other day.

But come to think of it, why is there even a V day at all . I mean..I could just be a lot more lovable on any other day. What if, today is just not the day. What if I m pissed today,what if today morning – despite all my fancy plans , all i got was a flat tyre, a ticket for over speeding, Almost killed someone on the road, Ordered chicken and got fish instead ( Did i tell you , am allergic to fish? ) , couldn’t get my size of the dress i totally adore ( and its on 50% sale )..I mean.. why the hell do i walk up to someone and wish a happy valentine when i know i m having the worst day of the year. Sorry guys who are in love, i don’t mean to screw your day .. you can still opt out on reading this.

I just don’t know why couldn’t I choose my Valentine day on my own.

And i know most of you would just say, everyday is V day for ppl who are in love..but seriously.. come on , I could be having a severe headache today or just found out that my ex has moved on and is with someone else. I seriously don’t intend to make it sound all depressing, but really, if love was the answer to all, could you rephrase the question:)

I just felt awesome the day i got a new job – Let THAT be my valentine’s day or the day i last partied all night .. or what about the day when i sang Happy Birthday on phone and brought a smile on someone’s face.

If the great Christian martyred saints of ancient Rome , termed as Valentine (( thats where it all began guys, ha.. and you thought it was as easy as a chocolate or a rose day ..)) were thinking they would just fix one date to leave a trail of audience crossing that as an important date in their calenders, well.. they weren’t that wrong.

Like many , IT IS my important day too…. important day to get a hair spa done.. or start a book based on a rehab group with the world’s most psyched out yet normal characters . Or wait, lets hit a hill station with a bunch of friends.. but NO.. lets just wait for next weekend as i could be pissed today:) I’m sorry if i sound mixed up but that’s exactly my point..

I could be extremely pissed today (for any of the reasons mentioned above) however, my hill station getaway could just be 7 days away from today and just 7 days past your V day. I absolutely don’t need a date .. Last i celebrated my V-day was when i received an unexpected call which wasn’t even a week ago.

So well guys..too bad.. i might just never run out it, My no. of Vdays could be even more than my actual age.. But then, Come to think of it yet again.. Isn’t that the idea:)

Happy Valentines Day guys..for those in and out of love.

It shall conquer all !!