A Friend Indeed

Posted: January 17, 2011 in Life so far!

I walked up to him and said ‘I need your wallet’
He replied ‘Why? I bought you that dress already, why do you need more money?’
I made a grumpy face and attempted to walk away..he stopped me right away and handed over his wallet to me , ‘It’s all yours’,, he said and sighed ‘‘God …Women !!” haha .. Such was our love…we called each other ”just friends” though :)

He loved me ever since he held me in his arms. I could sense it. I may have been real obtuse, but I knew it wasn’t just simple affection from his side.. It was the bond that was to exist forever. Like he’d never let go of me.

The charm we shared was evident enough. Even though he wouldn’t say much, somewhere deep down, I knew we had a long way to go…I looked up to him.
I can’t believe how I changed as a person and he still stuck around… so patiently.

Days passed by, Years passed by.. It was unspoken, not talked about anymore.. not expressed outrightly..But it was deep down inside the both of us.. we knew it needed no mention. it was pure and righteous.. except that he’d always forget my birthdays :).. and i would always remember his. It was weird how the chemistry was so accepted amongst us now that i was done grilling him and he was done trying too hard remembering it every year now !!

It was his b’day again , i had baked the cake myself. It was a chocolate one.. with the dark chocolate frosting. He was too cautious abt his health these days , he would say ‘No more cakes this year. im going fat ” haha… can’t believe it is the same person who couldn’t care less eating just about anything. He was now keeping a calorie count like some pretentious on-diet feminine who has just put on a kg more in the past 3 years.
I laughed it off and put the entire big pie in his mouth .. .it was his b’day after all,one day i looked forward to every year , besides my own ofcourse :)..
Things were in place, running smooth until about a year later from then. And Something had happened then. Something very unusual. I had met someone , someone interesting ..someone who spoke his heart out to me.Someone i connected more with or so i would like to believe. He would make me laugh and cry too. He resumed my emotions somehow.
I wasn’t too sure if what i was feeling was real but then it was beautiful. Something I had never felt before. and before i could even realize it, i had a ‘yes’ on my lips and a ring on my finger .
I wanted to tell abt him to my oldest friend.. the only person i looked up to ,until now.

I can’t believe how life had changed,how priorities were different .
I felt very bad from inside but i knew i was doing the right thing..
It was time i faced the truth . It was also time i made my oldest friend acquaint to my truth.
I knew things would go on the hook, but i had to let it out. I called him up, and as usual he was at work.
I said, ”I want to speak with you, it’s urgent”. He told me he’d be over for dinner and thats when we can talk. He had no idea what was coming up.
So the moment arrived when platters were set and so was my speech.
So what is it ? ” he said ! I replied – ” I got something to tell you but pls pls don’t freak out”
I had my hand hidden, I didn’t want him to see that diamond ring until I was sure he was ok.
“I found someone, He is amazing. and he loves me a lot and so do I. I think he is the one and I want to marry him.””
I said all of that in one breath , and just went numb. The ball was in his court now, i sighed silently.Like i just took some huge weight off my body . I felt relieved but at the same time, i kept staring at him. I was gauging at his every single reaction.
He obviously went in shock . I could see that. He wasn’t good at hiding his expressions. He stopped chewing his food and almost went blank.
There was no utterance of a word from either sides for good 45 seconds after that. The worst 45 seconds of my life.
and then it was me again , ”I’m sorry but i have made up my mind, I want you to be happy about it pls. He is the best thing in the world and I want you to meet him, trust me, you’d love him”.. My god i was selling to him now. Listing all of his good qualities .. not realizing the more i spoke, the more difficult it got for him ..
So you love him eh ?”
Err.. was that a tricky one ?I didn’t get that question. Did he want me to say ,’Not as much as i love you?‘, would that have made him feel any better? . God.. i never saw that coming. another sigh of breath and i was blank now.
He said ‘ Ok .lets meet him then” and he smiled .
I wasn’t taking my chances, this could mean real bad . He had to show he didn’t expect this, like this was the worst thing he ever heard. but he wanted to meet him ? This was fishy.

So the meeting finally happened, and to my surprise, everything went fine. :)
I felt so relieved. I didn’t know how he was doing really ? It’s like his approval made all the difference in my life. Like the bond i shared with him had a different meaning now. I always respected him , but this was different.
I knew he had taken a knife through his heart to have finally agreed and accepted what was happening.
I admired his courage. He was still my hero , if not my love.
It was my wedding day , and my hero had taken all the charge . I noticed,He was trying to avoid me since morning. He hadn’t spoken to me all day , he was pretending he’s too busy getting all the last minute wedding arrangements done but c’mon a word or two from him would have made all the difference but i guess i was demanding too much. I couldn’t thank him enough for being so supportive and making this work and putting his heart and soul to give a perfect wedding to me..
The ceremony was finally being conducted, I noticed him a couple of times and he obviously wasn’t looking at me at all.. something just happened that moment and i broke out. I couldn’t believe i was going away from my family and him and had come to this sudden turn where i held a bag mixed of emotions and couldn’t walk a step ahead.
As i cried, I saw him coming towards me .. My friend, my hero , my inspiration.. he came and he hugged me, it was his way of wishing me a wonderful life ahead . I didn’t care what everyone thought. I just needed his hug so bad ..like it was the only solace in the whole wide world for me.
He said ‘Never cry , I will always love you
and i snuffle my nose like a 3 yr old and say ” And i will always love you too Dad..”
My oldest friend , My only Hero in life,My Dad had given me the richest inheritance of love to take along.

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Comments
  1. Gaurav Shakya says:

    Touching!!! U know what…parents never leave u…They will always be there and by always, I mean literally always…waiting impatiently for your calls even at times when u’ll b too busy in taking care of ur own kids n family….Its us finally who make the whole difference!!!

    • kanikasapra says:

      I agree with you . It happens to me already and we don’t realize how ignorant we become of this fact. But it’s still so comforting to know however far you go, there’s always someone who’s thinking of you in all times.

  2. md610 says:

    Beautiful. Brought tears to me eyes. You are very lucky and how.

    Bless your beautiful family.
    Love,
    M

    • kanikasapra says:

      We both are lucky M , cuz we have each other ! and that’s not changing ever ..is it :)
      You have the inheritance from your dad that makes you so beautiful a person that you are today and be proud of that. always !
      Papa loves you and will, forever .

      • md610 says:

        Thank you love. Your support keeps me going. His faith in me keeps me stronger.
        Thanks for being around. You are my soul sister.
        :) god bless you with this choicest blessings today and always.

  3. Parminder Kaur says:

    Hey Kanika….This is the first time I have ever read your blog and I must say you have written it beautifully. I cried after reading your blog and plzz take it as a compliment as the feeling you have expressed are so so true. Being a girl, I can understand and feel the father-daughter bond which you have expressed. You have reminded me my wedding day. I was shattered with the feeling that I am going away from him, away from my friend, my inspiration. I was crying and looking at him and wanted to say… don’t let me go alone, plzzz come with me. Your blog brought back those memories!!!!!!!!! Really well written…Keep it up.

    • kanikasapra says:

      Hey Paro, Thankyouuu so much for giving it a read and i m so glad you could relate to it. I understand what you must have gone through, & i see it coming and it scares the hell out of me too. But everytime i see you and my other girl friends settled happily, it only relieves me. I can bet ur parents feel absolutely lucky to have you…as much as you are lucky to have them around . Just as Gaurav rightly puts it, the parents never really leave you, literally .. :)
      So this calls for a nice phone call that you probably will make to ur parents tomorrow morning first thing.. :))
      Love

  4. Bhawna says:

    phew!! Goosebumps

  5. Binodan says:

    One of the best I have read in a long time… Lucid, modern yet had the classic Munroe feel to it. Cheers

  6. abhishek says:

    wonderful……

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