Archive for January, 2011

A Friend Indeed

Posted: January 17, 2011 in Life so far!

I walked up to him and said ‘I need your wallet’
He replied ‘Why? I bought you that dress already, why do you need more money?’
I made a grumpy face and attempted to walk away..he stopped me right away and handed over his wallet to me , ‘It’s all yours’,, he said and sighed ‘‘God …Women !!” haha .. Such was our love…we called each other ”just friends” though :)

He loved me ever since he held me in his arms. I could sense it. I may have been real obtuse, but I knew it wasn’t just simple affection from his side.. It was the bond that was to exist forever. Like he’d never let go of me.

The charm we shared was evident enough. Even though he wouldn’t say much, somewhere deep down, I knew we had a long way to go…I looked up to him.
I can’t believe how I changed as a person and he still stuck around… so patiently.

Days passed by, Years passed by.. It was unspoken, not talked about anymore.. not expressed outrightly..But it was deep down inside the both of us.. we knew it needed no mention. it was pure and righteous.. except that he’d always forget my birthdays :).. and i would always remember his. It was weird how the chemistry was so accepted amongst us now that i was done grilling him and he was done trying too hard remembering it every year now !!

It was his b’day again , i had baked the cake myself. It was a chocolate one.. with the dark chocolate frosting. He was too cautious abt his health these days , he would say ‘No more cakes this year. im going fat ” haha… can’t believe it is the same person who couldn’t care less eating just about anything. He was now keeping a calorie count like some pretentious on-diet feminine who has just put on a kg more in the past 3 years.
I laughed it off and put the entire big pie in his mouth .. .it was his b’day after all,one day i looked forward to every year , besides my own ofcourse :)..
Things were in place, running smooth until about a year later from then. And Something had happened then. Something very unusual. I had met someone , someone interesting ..someone who spoke his heart out to me.Someone i connected more with or so i would like to believe. He would make me laugh and cry too. He resumed my emotions somehow.
I wasn’t too sure if what i was feeling was real but then it was beautiful. Something I had never felt before. and before i could even realize it, i had a ‘yes’ on my lips and a ring on my finger .
I wanted to tell abt him to my oldest friend.. the only person i looked up to ,until now.

I can’t believe how life had changed,how priorities were different .
I felt very bad from inside but i knew i was doing the right thing..
It was time i faced the truth . It was also time i made my oldest friend acquaint to my truth.
I knew things would go on the hook, but i had to let it out. I called him up, and as usual he was at work.
I said, ”I want to speak with you, it’s urgent”. He told me he’d be over for dinner and thats when we can talk. He had no idea what was coming up.
So the moment arrived when platters were set and so was my speech.
So what is it ? ” he said ! I replied – ” I got something to tell you but pls pls don’t freak out”
I had my hand hidden, I didn’t want him to see that diamond ring until I was sure he was ok.
“I found someone, He is amazing. and he loves me a lot and so do I. I think he is the one and I want to marry him.””
I said all of that in one breath , and just went numb. The ball was in his court now, i sighed silently.Like i just took some huge weight off my body . I felt relieved but at the same time, i kept staring at him. I was gauging at his every single reaction.
He obviously went in shock . I could see that. He wasn’t good at hiding his expressions. He stopped chewing his food and almost went blank.
There was no utterance of a word from either sides for good 45 seconds after that. The worst 45 seconds of my life.
and then it was me again , ”I’m sorry but i have made up my mind, I want you to be happy about it pls. He is the best thing in the world and I want you to meet him, trust me, you’d love him”.. My god i was selling to him now. Listing all of his good qualities .. not realizing the more i spoke, the more difficult it got for him ..
So you love him eh ?”
Err.. was that a tricky one ?I didn’t get that question. Did he want me to say ,’Not as much as i love you?‘, would that have made him feel any better? . God.. i never saw that coming. another sigh of breath and i was blank now.
He said ‘ Ok .lets meet him then” and he smiled .
I wasn’t taking my chances, this could mean real bad . He had to show he didn’t expect this, like this was the worst thing he ever heard. but he wanted to meet him ? This was fishy.

So the meeting finally happened, and to my surprise, everything went fine. :)
I felt so relieved. I didn’t know how he was doing really ? It’s like his approval made all the difference in my life. Like the bond i shared with him had a different meaning now. I always respected him , but this was different.
I knew he had taken a knife through his heart to have finally agreed and accepted what was happening.
I admired his courage. He was still my hero , if not my love.
It was my wedding day , and my hero had taken all the charge . I noticed,He was trying to avoid me since morning. He hadn’t spoken to me all day , he was pretending he’s too busy getting all the last minute wedding arrangements done but c’mon a word or two from him would have made all the difference but i guess i was demanding too much. I couldn’t thank him enough for being so supportive and making this work and putting his heart and soul to give a perfect wedding to me..
The ceremony was finally being conducted, I noticed him a couple of times and he obviously wasn’t looking at me at all.. something just happened that moment and i broke out. I couldn’t believe i was going away from my family and him and had come to this sudden turn where i held a bag mixed of emotions and couldn’t walk a step ahead.
As i cried, I saw him coming towards me .. My friend, my hero , my inspiration.. he came and he hugged me, it was his way of wishing me a wonderful life ahead . I didn’t care what everyone thought. I just needed his hug so bad ..like it was the only solace in the whole wide world for me.
He said ‘Never cry , I will always love you
and i snuffle my nose like a 3 yr old and say ” And i will always love you too Dad..”
My oldest friend , My only Hero in life,My Dad had given me the richest inheritance of love to take along.

Another Year Gone by ..

Posted: January 4, 2011 in Life so far!

And as we enter a yet another new year , reminiscing how last one passed , looking forward to whats next, making sure not to make the same mistakes we made last year, promising ourselves new resolutions.. thinking about last year’s ones..and if we ever kept them …and almost gearing up to work on the rest of the bucket list …

I welcome 2011 reiterating the fact that this year is not like others, because its unique, its absolutely unusual and its filled with days that are never coming back again,So I better be living them…

One of my friends happened to ask me if I was happy the way 2010 passed for me? If I was content with how it went, if I wished more would have happened.. or flabbergasted with how it already turned out to be, to whom my reply was,”It was quite eventful..definitely eventful…!!” Needless to say , i couldn’t have asked for a better 2010. A year to remember by.

And what do I look forward to? Some sanity to make right decisions in life, some hopes to not to mess it up this one time,more beautiful moments to share with my partner, career growth, learn to cook ‘out of the world’ delicacies, more trips and more places to explore, read more ,keep my blogs consistent, follow sports more often, stay fit and super strength to keep up with these endeavors I drafted in my mind..

And again, despite my bright hopes and expectations, I bid myself to stand levelheaded, be ready for the unexpected, ensure i don’t hurt anyone else anymore, not be too attached to materialistic things in life, and keep going taking every single day as it comes ..