Just before i died..

Posted: June 15, 2010 in Life so far!

***Spoiler – No , its not just a blog and need NOT be taken in any lighter note ! If i had to put it in the great Chuck Palahniuk’s words : I just had a near – life experience !

It was a pretty refreshing morning. Not the ones i have everyday. This one was definitely incomparable. It was a Saturday and not just any !! There was something abt this one and why not?? I died this Saturday!
My morning was quite lazy. Woke up at leisure and thanked god for blessing me with this day. Had scrambled eggs and mango shake for breakfast. Woah !! I couldn”t stop yawning. still! …
Thought of reading a book – picked up Catch 22 – Joseph Heller. Some 50 odd pages and i was disinterested already!! It was a saturday.. there had to be more to it …! and that’s when a friend online told me abt The Twilight Zone – american television series aired in late 50s and early 60’s. Half n hr episodes , very thought provoking – horror, suspense, romance – it had it all.
The series had just enough episodes to keep me busy for the entire day. ((P.S::Call me mean, but this is the day which I claim to be absolutely mine)) So well, coming back — I You-tubed the series and got all of them online… Alas!!… It was turning out to be a perfect weekend.
Time passed by , it was afternoon already, i was hungry again. But where are others? Quite surprising when you live in a house of 19 people and no one knocked your door in past 4 hrs, absolutely a shocker. No kids drama for quite a while, mom’s not yelling at me for not taking bath yet… others are just about as calm as the silence before the storm.. or was it the one after the storm? What was i missing ?(P.S – Not that i was loving the silence ;) it was the curiosity that made me anxious) . I recalled my previous night to find a connect and i had a decent memory of it.The previous day when I had come back from work, had family dinner, checked mails,heard music , browsed internet and was off to bed.
But then what could have possibly happened overnight during my slumber that i wasn’t aware of.
My next quick action – to find out where everyone is. My happening Saturday was turning out to be “not so happening“… It had started to worry me already. I walked out of room .. and the house looked empty ! Things were in place.. but people weren’t! ? !
The half cut water melon, fresh milk on the stove, lit for boil..at least that gave some relief . Obviously, there must have been someone in the kitchen only a while back .
I shouted but in vain! Checked all the rooms, lobby , washrooms ..((P.S= This many movements on a Saturday is otherwise taken as a self proclaimed criminal offence )) I don’t get it . Where had all disappeared ??
I picked up my cell and dialed my mum’s no. It rang and i could hear the ring !!! Thank god .. it was ringing and somewhere real close. BUT, It was quite weird, because even though i could hear the ring so loud , i couldn’t figure where it’s actually coming from ? Has that ever happened to you ? ((P.S = This is the time when the narrator talks to the audience, yes YOU !! :P )) Any place you look, the moment you go any closer – the sound seems to be coming from somewhere else. As crazy as it sounds, I swear I could not locate the phone at all …!!
This looked very theatrical, obviously it doesn’t happen in real but it did happen to me – For real and left me all the more confused…
I thought of checking with my neighbors if the crowd of my house had moved there for some reason. !! So i quickly go back to my room, & changed… my chain of thoughts were quite random -I was thinking what color do i wear ? i mean.. seriously ?
I stepped out in a pair of faded denims with a yellow t shirt that had my company logo on it. It was sultry outside.. very humid and the sun goggled at me like i was the solely responsible person for the chlorofluorocarbon spread out in the air :P !! The roads looked void, like no one ever lived there. The streets were empty , not even a stray dog next to the dump,.. One of the days when i was ready to see any moving object just to believe in the life of it . Even the birds went missing that day. This was funny. I rang my neighbor’s doorbell but just as i expected, no response. The world went lifeless. and me .. Isolated ? And i thought to myself – Was i dreaming ? ?God knows how hard i pinched myself that moment , and it hurt. It did hurt bad .. I was living it.. living ( or was i ? ) every moment of it
And it struck me hard, how i so much longed to be left alone , not to be bothered ever – and now when the reality had hit me, it wasn’t quite fascinating. There was no way i could deal with this isolation. My curiosity could have only killed me if nothing worse.
My beliefs had started to tremble, it wasn’t too great about the glorious eternal time anymore. If ,even in an iota of the possibility, this was a dream..i wanted it to end right away..!
I began to think the way out and find clues. Why did it all seem like a staged drama with no other characters to act. I started to run in search for life. Day had ended , sun had settled – i had everywhere to go but the will to live had died.I had banged my head against every wall, prayed to god like never before, missed my family like a 2 yr old.
My disappointed soul refused to wander anymore, between this life and death – i feared the former more.
I entered in a building that stood so lifelessly high, walked up all floors just to fall free from above. Certainly my conscious way of telling god, “you can’t fire me , i quit” .. so i lean forward and shut my eyes. Let loose and feel the fall. While my body swung its way down so fast, it’s the hit in the end what i waited for. And just as i remember of the last thought in my mind before i hit the ground, I hear someone say slowly in my ears ” Mam, Can i get you another drink?

“It is impossible to tell where revelations stop and hallucinations begin”

  1. god this was well written and gripping :)

  2. shivani masson says:

    Good one kanika…never knew there was a writer in you…!!

  3. Sandeep says:

    Very well writtern kanika, keep it up. I ll follow your future blogs from now on.

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