Archive for February, 2010

This is pretty much a perfect epitome of how boredom and randomness can reflect fancy colors beyond our imagination.

So we all passed our college(somehow), and did our MBAs and attended our convocations and bragged about our degrees (no fck@#%v idea where is it lying right now)and were ready to begin our new lives.. but deep down in our hearts, we all knew – our lives were absolutely  OVER  , we were as good as dead – we had offer letters in our hands to enter this world full of demons and vampires who look just like us but can’t be fooled – time to throw  the denims back in our closets and buy a wardrobe of  formal outfits so that we all look alike (demons and humans).

So guys, i tried jotting down 5 golden laws to kill  time in office when you are not working ( And come on,lets face it, we all know most of you are hardly working in office, so don’t make that pathetic duck face pretending to show you are shitloaded with work  and are over-exploited & underpaid cuz u know YOU ARE NOT , you $!%@)

So here we go :

1. The “Nap-py”  Law :

Hands down,this is our classic , legendary and the most well- established law, tried and tested a gazillion times, has success stories we all swear by. So go ahead, don’t be ashamed – taking a quick nap at work is NORMAL . You will gradually learn the art well , the napping time is directly proportional to the experience you hold in the same.In easy terms –  the more you try, the longer you can go without getting caught:) – and you are an acclaimed expert once you know how to do it with open eyes. Trust me, only few have reached there!

2. The ” You-Face-Or-Link-Twit &Ted ”  Law :

Its a self explanatory law and very widely known and executed these days. We all swear by it, start and end our days as well as nights with the law . This rule keeps us connected , keeps us alive , gives us an individuality these bloody demons could never give. What ? You still don’t get it ?

This should simplify : The “youtube-facebook-orkut-linkedin-twitter-tedtv” Law .

We all know what this virtual world means to us, specially when u are sitting idle in office and want to look extremely busy doing something very important.Jai ho social networking baba ki, well, if you  grow out of Facebook, Ted TV would give you ideas worth spreading.

The beauty of the law is it can be customized to individual’s social networking desires and one platform where all your professional frustration comes out in form of Status updates, Blogs et al .

3.  The  “Disappear”  Law :

This one’s the coolest. Busy people don’t stick  their asses to their chairs all day . The are active, they are here one place – and there the another second.  And when you just want to kill time and still look busy , disappearing is the best act at work !:)

So well, your office is on 10th floor ? Go take an elevator tour , press all the buttons of the floors while you are in it and wait till it reaches the ground and then the way up . It’s fun when you have nothing else to do.LOL. And ya, you have a bank next to your building- Just go and check your account status , the chai wala sitting outside wouldn’t also mind if you pay him a visit once in a while . Go back to office ,  work on Rule 2 and then back to ground.  Before you even know it, your day’s over !

Oh wait, this  law comes with a condition – make sure not everyone in your office is following the same law at same time, Cuz then the office looks empty and the chai wala will be making more money than you probably would:)

4. The ” TO-DO-LIST” Law :

This law is not only fun, but productive as well.  Since you are in office 5 days a week , 11 Hrs a day , you totally miss out on other non professional yet important stuff which seem a LOT to finish over a 2 day weekend ( just the moment when you wished you had one day extra).

So well when at work, and nothing to do.Work on your TO-DO list . From preparing your grocery list  to online search for movie tickets .From making the list of hill stations to go on the coming weekend to calling up & finding about the prices and best packages to avail, From catching up on your credit card and telephone bills to making your best songs collection playlist -Guys, This is the TIME. It makes you look busy , kills the boredom and you couldn’t be any more multi-tasking than this !!!

5.   The “Talk it OUT ” law :

Ok so you tried all the above and there’s still time left for the day to get over. Walk up to a colleague and start talking the non work related matters – Family, friends, vacations, movies.. anything. And if you want to sound more intense  —  start with a serious topic like racism , homosexuality , Shiv Sena or the Indian economy. And if you aren’t much updated on any : initiate a gossip – about a colleague, your boss or about the new hired one – would usually last for hours.

As someone rightly quotes:

“The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, “How is the president?””

As for the rest – the above mentioned laws are just apt:)

:)

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No, this is not my love story,.. for that matter, this is nobody’s love story.. In fact, there’s no love in this story at all .

I just picked up this day ( Valentines or Vday ) cuz it has a direct connect to our love or anti-love cells in our brains that become active the most today in the entire year. Its safe to assume, today, anyone reading this, would just be able to comprehend it a lil more than on any other day.

But come to think of it, why is there even a V day at all . I mean..I could just be a lot more lovable on any other day. What if, today is just not the day. What if I m pissed today,what if today morning – despite all my fancy plans , all i got was a flat tyre, a ticket for over speeding, Almost killed someone on the road, Ordered chicken and got fish instead ( Did i tell you , am allergic to fish? ) , couldn’t get my size of the dress i totally adore ( and its on 50% sale )..I mean.. why the hell do i walk up to someone and wish a happy valentine when i know i m having the worst day of the year. Sorry guys who are in love, i don’t mean to screw your day .. you can still opt out on reading this.

I just don’t know why couldn’t I choose my Valentine day on my own.

And i know most of you would just say, everyday is V day for ppl who are in love..but seriously.. come on , I could be having a severe headache today or just found out that my ex has moved on and is with someone else. I seriously don’t intend to make it sound all depressing, but really, if love was the answer to all, could you rephrase the question:)

I just felt awesome the day i got a new job – Let THAT be my valentine’s day or the day i last partied all night .. or what about the day when i sang Happy Birthday on phone and brought a smile on someone’s face.

If the great Christian martyred saints of ancient Rome , termed as Valentine (( thats where it all began guys, ha.. and you thought it was as easy as a chocolate or a rose day ..)) were thinking they would just fix one date to leave a trail of audience crossing that as an important date in their calenders, well.. they weren’t that wrong.

Like many , IT IS my important day too…. important day to get a hair spa done.. or start a book based on a rehab group with the world’s most psyched out yet normal characters . Or wait, lets hit a hill station with a bunch of friends.. but NO.. lets just wait for next weekend as i could be pissed today:) I’m sorry if i sound mixed up but that’s exactly my point..

I could be extremely pissed today (for any of the reasons mentioned above) however, my hill station getaway could just be 7 days away from today and just 7 days past your V day. I absolutely don’t need a date .. Last i celebrated my V-day was when i received an unexpected call which wasn’t even a week ago.

So well guys..too bad.. i might just never run out it, My no. of Vdays could be even more than my actual age.. But then, Come to think of it yet again.. Isn’t that the idea:)

Happy Valentines Day guys..for those in and out of love.

It shall conquer all !!


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